"Life is semisweet, for sure" (Gratitude + Being a Momma)

The other day, I woke up around 5:30am and as I lay in bed, I scrolled through my Instagram feed to help pull my sleepy eyes open. As I scrolled, I saw a photo of a beautiful little boy with big red curls and life exuding from his sweet little smile. Underneath his photo stated that the unthinkable had happened to him and prayers are much needed for his family. My heart stopped.

As I read about his story on Alissa Circle's blog, I immediately started sobbing in bed with what felt like a stab to my chest-where it hurts most. I couldn't fathom how the family of this 3 1/2 year old boy must feel at that moment and a wave of emotions covered me as I wanted to hold and squeeze my son for as long as I can-to hold onto his precious tiny body that won't ever be this small again.

I couldn't imagine losing a child. I prayed. I prayed for comfort and peace for Ryan's family as well as gratitude and thanksgiving for the time I have been given with my son. I want to be grateful every. single. day. for my son, my husband and my family and friends because truth is, the Lord may have a different plan and our loved ones may not be with us for as long as we desire.

Yesterday, I went outside for a bit of fresh air and sunlight and finished reading the book Ketchup is a Vegetable. I came across such enriching words and couldn't have said it better myself when it comes to being a little one's momma...

"Every moment counts.

Every child that is brought into this world is a miracle and gift from God...Every child that is born fills me full of hope. Hope that this world isn't the horrible place depicted on the evening news. Hope that if something so perfect can even exist, then there is good to be found in the world.

Every child is another opportunity for us to get things right, to raise our children with a respect for God and people and with a zest for life. Every day brings a new opportunity to love our children, to laugh with them, cry with them, and watch them grow. Every day with our children is an opportunity for us to learn from them, to hopefully replicate their easy acceptance of others and unconditional love for life. Every day there is an opportunity to let God use your children to sand off your own rough edges, making you more like them and ultimately more like Him.

It can be difficult to keep these things in perspective.

Life is semisweet, for sure. There is bitterness there, like medicine mixed in chocolate syrup, and it must be swallowed whole along with the moments that flood your heart with pure joy. We can laugh, or we can cry. The choice is yours. But if I had my time again-I'd do it all the same."

-Robin O'Bryant
Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves

Hold your babies tight. Be thankful and love big-so big that regret doesn't follow because every moment counts and each day is not guaranteed.

Please keep the family of Ryan Cruz Saldana in your prayers and learn how you can help here.
#RedBalloonsForRyan

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

    and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

Thankful Thursday

As I was feeling overwhelmed these past couple weeks with the long list of "to-dos," I took a step back and breathed a sigh of thanksgiving. Whenever I feel like I need a break or new surroundings, I go outside. There I can take in fresh air and greet the sunshine of growth.

While I was reading The Happiness Project on my back patio, I came upon the quote, "It's easy to make the mistake of thinking that if you have something you love or there's something you want, you'll be happier with more." It struck me as being grateful for what you have. Even if you already have something you love, thinking that you need more of it, can loose it's admirability and value when you have great quantity. It becomes something you're used to rather than cherishable treasure.

I don't want to take even the "smallest things" for granted so as I pondered back upon these past few days, I wrote down a few things I am thankful for.

My supportive husband
He is the reason I am able to chase my dreams and do what I love. He is my rock, my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. He encourages me when I need it, even when I think I don't and he listens to my spiels even when they seem pointless.

Parenthood & Our Son 
Upon pediatrician recommendation, we have been seeing a speech educator for our 26 month old son due to "the lack of words he can communicate" but we have had some hard days these past few weeks. Temper tantrums were awful and it seemed like the teaching sessions weren't even worthwhile. I almost gave up. Yesterday though, there was noticable change. Little man was pointing to correct photos and following directions from the teacher much better than previous weeks. His speech is developing quicker and progress is being made. I know he will speak when his time comes. 
I'm not a mother who is pushing my child to fit a "perfect mold" or to be somebody else other than his curious, fearless and lively self. I just know that a lot of the tantrums come out of frustration from communication barriers. As first time parents, there is so much to learn and we are doing the best we can. It can be hard at times when the kicking and screaming carries on but I know with diligence and patience on our part, it will get better. I am completely thankful for a healthy son and his spirit as well as what he is teaching us.

Early Mornings
I have NEVER been a morning person. In fact, I hated the thought of even waking up before 8am. After feeling run down throughout the day and not feeling like I've accomplished much at all, I challenged myself. I figured if I could wake up before my son and start the day off with chores already getting done, a clean house (although it wouldn't stay clean) and orders getting filled, I'd feel much more productive. Turns out, not only do I feel more productive but I have more energy, we have more time to spend with one another (since chores are done, it's worry free relaxing outdoors for a bit with the babe) and my favorite thing about early mornings-I can do my devotion in peace and quiet without distractions. These mornings have brought more joy throughout my day than before and I am so thankful.

My "Job"
I don't like calling it a "job" since it seems to bring negative connotations but Love Sparkle Pretty allows me to help provide for my family, work from home and I ENJOY it. It truly is a calling that I am so thankful the Lord allowed me to answer.

Friendship
Recently, I've had a friend in the hospital due to a horrible infection from a prior dentist visit. The whole side of her face swelled up, she had to visit the ER a few times, go into surgery, get a drain placed and removed and hooked up to IVs several times. This is not easy stuff. I am so grateful for her friendship and the several prayers that have poured in from so many. She is now on her way to recovery and feeling a lot better than before. Thank you Lord! 

Needs that are Met
As my husband and I were talking about paying off certain things-or trying to anyway, it's easy to be distracted by, "If only..." and "What if..." We talked about saving enough money to pay off school loans and our car and then realzing, "oh, I also have medical bills from my recent surgery" and so forth. That talk could quickly turn negative and for a moment it did. Rather than stewing on "If only we had enough money to just pay everything off right now," we gave thanks for our needs that are met, a roof over our heads, transportation, clothes on our back, shoes on our feet and food in our bellies. We also gave thanks for the mere fact that we at least have the income to even achieve paying off bills-even if they aren't paid off now, one day, they will be.

"A grateful heart will protect you from negative thinking."

I want to live a more full and present life rather than thinking "what if..." and dwelling on the future. My word this year is TRUST and I am practicing just that. Trusting that the Lord will open and close doors, take care of our needs and guide our lives according to his will.

What are you thankful for and what are some things you tend to unnoticably take for granted?

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Gratitude {A difficult reflection of motherhood + healing wounds}

There is always something to be grateful for but lately, I have been feeling even more thankful than usual. It started with something that Brant Hansen said one day on Air1. He was talking about that article that was just published about children costing a crazy amount of money and how much of a cost "burden" they can be. Brant gave a quote from Justin Guarini about this same topic that actually put tears in my eyes. He said, 

"There was a time when I could have thrown down cash for a house, and had any number of lovers in and out the door. A flashy car and clothes to match. An ego to trump them all.

Now, I rent a home filled with love. I have a wife whom I love and who loves me (me!) and who lifts me up. Children who give me cherubic-lipped kisses before I leave for work and who are the most delicious morsels of joy and peace and prosperity.

I am a pretty wealthy individual. 

And then this, his best line:

I have more riches than I can count. Most of them come in the form of smiles and drool... but they make me feel like a gazillionaire."

When he said this, I felt a little guilty because at times, I feel like I don't appreciate how much of a blessing my son is. Sometimes, I get so overwhelmed with his energizer bunny, bouncing off walls, jumping off tables, throwing things behavior. I felt guilty for the times I've said "I need a break" or "this is so much harder than I ever thought."

He is well, he is alive, he is curious, he is unique and he is unbelievably precious and loved in not only mine and my husband's eyes but the Lord's eyes as well.

I would never change what God has blessed me with and I am SO thankful for the life I've been given-including our little lover-everything about him. Yes, sometimes I may feel as if I "need a break" from the messes of smeared fruit snacks in the carpet, the brief heart attacks from watching my son get on tables to try and jump off and the constant discipline to get him to stop putting random things in the outlets.

This is life and it's filled with lots of kisses until bellies start hurting from laughter, hugs that squeeze tightly, hands that tangle up and "I Love You"s to last a lifetime yet can't ever be said enough. I would never trade any of this for the world and I'm thankful to have reflected due to a couple minutes listening to the radio.

Think this post stops there? Not entirely.

A few days ago, I was also attacked by a few large dogs. I don't really want to get too much into it because I don't want to think about the details but I can honestly find ENORMOUS gratitude in that situation as well. I could have had my son with me, I could have had my face severely wounded or even organs punctured BUT even in that moment, I was being protected.

My side has bite marks, I have a very small gash on my head and a couple deep punctures in my right arm. My arm got the worst of it but my physical wounds are definitely healing quickly with lots of prayers from family and friends. My emotional wounds will certainly take longer though. Today, I saw my neighbors small dog wondering into our yard and my heart stopped. I turned around to walk into the house praying the dog wouldn't follow me and I shut the door as quickly as possible.

Yet through this, I have so much more to be grateful for because I am well and I am able to be at home with my family.

This is what I will dwell on.
Thank you Lord!

What are you thankful for lately?